I know, I know.
I quite understand if you thought "Drayton's gone to The Dark Side. Next thing he'll send me one of those emails."
You know the ones I mean.
The ones like "Hey Buddy. You don't need a list, a product or even half a brain to make gazillions this easy way ... etc., etc." from something like Cashmaster.
Sadly what I told the Amex people 26 years ago is not that miraculous.
It's just a simple thing that works - so simple I almost feel like apologising.
I won't, though, because a surprising number of people don't know about it - and those who do often forget it.
It is only five words long.
And it's a tiny variation on perhaps the most important single element in persuasion - which is reason-why.
You'll remember I'm sure that giving people a reason why your offer is so good or your product is so special or your price is so low is essential.
That's because when people say something is good you need a reason to believe.
In the same way when someone writes to you, or talks to you, you need an explanation.
You need a reason to listen or read. It's not enough for someone to launch into selling.
And that is why the simple words "I'm writing to you because" - are so powerful.
They give people a reason to read.
As I said originally, they call for no talent whatsoever - either in writing or marketing.
But they work.
Everything you find in AskDrayton is there not because it's clever or you need special talent - but just because it works.
Go and check it out - and remember that another thing which always works is a low introductory price.
American Express uses it. And so do I for AskDrayton.
But it won't last for ever. So why not give us a try while you can?
Apparently I missed something important. I’ve read the article twice and haven’t found those almost magical “five words.” Where are they hidden?
They are in the 14th paragraph, Jim.
So simple you may have missed them.
I,m writing to you because…
I,m writing to you because…5 important words to use. 😉
Hello Drayton,
I sell stuff on Ebay and it seems to me that most sellers strive to make their descriptions as short as possible.
Do you have any input as to whether the sentence would work on something like an Ebay sales page along with the long story, and maybe your other one of “Dear So and So, I was thinking about you today”, or are the other sellers correct and short descriptions are best?
I realise your core business is in advising people on their sales so you may not wish to give too detailed answer, and I can hear you now saying “test It” but I would value any brief thoughts you may have.
Thanks,
Steve.
That is a good question, Steve.
I must first say, though, that my business is about pretty much everything to do with sales, which includes copy. I think I write more about copy than anything else, as I am a writer.
An Ebay ad is like a small ad in the papers – something which tells you everything you need to know in as few words as reasonably possible.
EBay advise people in these words:
Item specifics let you provide details about the item you’re selling, such as brand, size type, size, colour, and style. These details appear at the top of your listing description, in a consistent format, making it easy for buyers to get the facts about your item.
The whole concept of EBay is that you selling things people already recognise.
I think this may make the conversational style pretty irrelevant. There are places, thought, where more description would make sense. For instance, I see an ad is now running for Eqyptian towels. Soft fluffy Egyptian towels would do better.
In my last copy day in Bristol I gave a couple of cases where copy made a big difference to sales on EBay.
Hi Drayton. Well I’m still not sure I quite understand the concept of telling the customer why you’re writing to them. I mean, should one be completely honest and say, “I’m writing to you because I have a passion for writing and I’d really like to make your website better (which really means “I am broke and I’d really like more clients.”) or is it more of a concept where you give your qualifications, for example, “I’m writing to you because I know how to write great sales copy do SEO, and get you more customers.”? I mean, could you give a great example of why you would write a sales letter to someone to get their business?
I started replying to this and my machine ate it.
Anyhow, here’s a quick example. I wrote to David Ogilvy in 1966 and got an instant reply and offer of an interview.
My letter simply began:
You have never heard of me, but I have a quality I know you prize.
I know how to make people buy things.
If you write to me Drayton@draytonbird.com. I will show you a letter that got 78% response which explained why I was writing.
I have sold more short sales than any Realtor in town. My only prospecting for short sellers has been to send letters to folks who show up on the Notice of Default list. My opening line: “I’m writing to you because your name showed up on the Notice of Default list recorded at the county courthouse.” 😉
A wonderful, simple opening.
Surprisingly few writers tell people why they are writing, yet that is pretty much the first thing in any reader’s mind
And it’s very honest.
Hi Drayton, I have been reading your e news for about a week now. On Friday afternoon I read about pitching ‘warm’ leads again. In the past I didn’t really get much return on re pitching people so I looked at my re pitch email and found out why. I wasn’t giving my re pitching people enough, I wasn’t throwing everything at them. So on Friday afternoon gave it everything I had. Out of 27 people who I had already pitched, 2 got back to me within 24 hours and signed up and another one is deliberating on the choice of package to go for. I am not sure if that is a good ratio or not. But it is better than what I was doing and has brought me in nearly £500 of business for the sake of 30 minutes sending out emails. I will now try out the 5 little words theory and let you know how I get on. Thank you!!! Amanda xx
One example used to illustrate this point was in an office.
A lady joined the queue to get some photocopying done. As the it was quite long, she went to the front of the queue and simply asked, “Do you mind if I go next because I’m in a rush?”
And the person let her in. Simply because she gave a reason, no matter how silly or bizarre it was.
Anyway, it’s something like that. It was an experiment to see how people behave when given a reason for something.
This was quite a famous piece of research in fact.
It’s funny, my old English teacher always used to tell us that you should never start a letter “I am writing…” because, to paraphrase, “It’s blooming obvious you are writing so why tell them?”
She also told us we couldn’t start a sentence with And or But, and several other rules which I have disregarded over the years. But for some reason (see what I did there?) the “I am writing…’ one has stuck. I’ve often agonised over an alternative opener in my personal and professional writing and cursed the poor woman.
I have a lot to thank Mrs Kirk for, not least of all kindling my love of Dickens and Wilkie Collins. But she was an English teacher not a copywriter and I’m pretty sure she never sold a Bullworker in her life. So your post – and the work of Professor Robert Cialdini – has encouraged me to break free of a rule instilled in me more than “ahem” years ago.
Here’s to an increase of five percent. Or should that be five percentage points? If only my maths tutor Mr Utton were here.
My comment’s been awaiting moderation for a few days. Not sure if there’s anything too offensive in there is there?
no; I have just been exceptionally busy in the last few days
I’m guessing that JIM NUGENT from the first comment was counting your 5 word phrase as 6… “I AM WRITING TO YOU BECAUSE” It could be argued either way 🙂 Not much writing these days though 🙁 well in more than 140 characters. Best Regards James
Thanks Drayton. I’ll see what i can pull out of my little business from this 5-simple-magic-words. I appreciate your tips. Godwin Enang from Nigeria
Thanks, Drayton. I appreciate your tips.